seagreen shark
by Cookirini
Summary: Never underestimate the seas you sail upon. It looks calm on the surface, but underneath, there always lurks a fatal danger for everyone, waiting to strike out.


_Beware the fury of a patient man. -_John Dryden

**seagreen shark**

by papirini

_How can she possibly sleep?_

It is the first thing I think when I see my lover laying next to me, her body limp with exhaustion. It isn't like her to simply enter our bedroom, flop on the bed and close her eyes, sleeping sweet nothings while I sit, all alone, all awake. Normally she would stay up and talk to me about the day. About the battles we've fought.

About what lies ahead. In my mirror, I can see the tide of evil before us, ready to swallow us under a dark wave of tyranny. Whether or not this new enemy will kill us...whether or not we will succeed...I don't know. It's just so frustrating.

"It will be all right, Michiru." Normally, my lover would gently chastise me if I spoke of my worries. "We have each other. We have the mission. And we have her."

Oh yes. _Her_. How I can despise that girl sometimes. How can she be so hopeful at times like this? Is it because of what she has, or what she has to lose, that she must have that constant smile on her face? It drives me mad!

Haruka thinks so highly of her, always. Me, as much as I respect her, and understand her position in my life, I cannot bestow that much admiration upon her. I see little which I can truly admire. She's tenacious, I can give her that. She's beaten us in battle, I can give her that as well. Her heart, though misguided, is strong.

But without the crystal, what is she? Nothing. She was nothing before she found the Ginzuishou, just a girl from out of nowhere. Everyone thought her incompetent, which she still is. Then suddenly, there was no reason not to worship her, because she was the princess who held the great crystal to solve all problems. She could do no wrong!

It was the opposite with me. Before, I was Kaiou Michiru. I had a name for myself, one that wasn't simply foisted on me by accident, or by some design. I wasn't forced to serve a woman whom I didn't know, and wouldn't know from a thousand faces. I wasn't bound by a mission that was many lives and many worlds away from my real life. I had my music and my art; I was free to express what I felt on canvas and paper, to let me soul run wild.

But of course, I was everything, until one day, I found a strange item on the ground. It was the pen which would turn me into Sailor Neptune. The moment I touched it, I felt a strange shiver down my spine; I instantly regretted what I did. Then, when I had no other choice, when I was painted into the corner, I transformed, and from then on, I was shackled by a memory and a mission.

"...mmmmmm..."

My lover stirs slightly as I stand up to look out the window, collecting the thoughts I dare not say out loud. I remember the day I tried to save Haruka from my fate; I admit I admired her courage to take up the mission alongside me as Sailor Uranus, for my sake, and my admiration became love at some point. But on that day, and even sometimes today, I see myself thinking "Fool! You fool!" For she had a life, and she too was forced to give it up. And for _what_?

Because of all I lost, Haruka is all I truly have left, and Haruka is whom I care for most. I would do anything, _anything_, to make her happy. And then, my happiness...

I take up my mirror and gingerly look into it. I've been using it more often nowadays outside of the mission; the princess and her friends always ask if they can peek into it to see what's going on. If they could see what I was looking at now, they would not be so trusting of me. I have taken great pains to conceal what image truly lies within the mirror.

_Ginzuishou_.

I am not the one who meekly scrapes and bows before tyranny. I am never without a thought to rise up and fight against my princess. Every day, and every night, I think of it. I think of how wonderful it would be to simply look up at her as she rouses us to battle again, and say "No". I think of how wonderful it would be to take my fist and bring it right to her porcelain face, and take her beads and tiara and break them in half.

I always think of the Ginzuishou.

I always pondered what it would be like to have the crystal in my hands, and what I could do with it once I obtained it. Our princess, bereft of many old memories of the past life, has no idea of what she really holds in that brooch. Does she know the true extent of what can be done with her talisman? Does she know how many worlds it has created...and how many it has destroyed? Does she know the suffering it causes to her friends and family?

Does she know how easy it would be for one of her own to simply take it from her?

I caress the mirror as the Ginzuishou's image comes up, as clear as day. Such a beautiful and powerful thing, in the wrong hands. What right, other than being princess, does _she_ have to it? She doesn't know how much it makes me suffer to see her have it...to know that seeing it in her hands is merely a reminder of just how good she has it.

Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot, and _she_ was the one to bow. I don't see why she shouldn't experience a little pain in her life, a little suffering, without her gem to save her from misery. To show her what a sham her fairy tale is to everyone else.

And who better to take the Ginzuishou from the princess ...to make it her own...to finally taste that wonderful power that she took for granted...?

"...Michiru...?"

My head jerks up. I turn to see my lover looking up at me from the bed, staring at me.

"...What are you thinking...?"

I pause, fearful of what could happen, hoping that I can erase the image from the mirror before I get to the bed. If there was one thing that stayed me from getting rid of that little girl, it was my lover. No matter what, I could never betray Haruka. Not after what she's done for me, after staying by me no matter what. Not after being the only person I could ever count on, after other friends and other family turned me away. I couldn't hurt her like that.

And yet the feeling always remains...the desires that only grow stronger with each passing minute...for violence….

What can I tell her?

"...I...was just thinking about...us."

"Oh...?"

"...We..." I think quickly. "We...haven't gone out lately. I was...thinking, perhaps tomorrow we could do something fun."

"...Mmm...perhaps." She bought my story. She was too tired to be suspiscious. "Michiru, it's very late. You should come under the covers now."

"I will..."

"Good night, then, dearest." She gives me a sleepy smile as she falls back onto her pillow. "Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams..."

I grasp my mirror tightly, relieved that I was not found out. It was always a risk being caught,

But I see Haruka, and I know I must stay happy for her. The misery that the princess puts me through is matched only by Haruka's kindness to me. Surely, Haruka must feel something like I do; she too was forced to grovel in front of that girl. Perhaps there is still a spark of anger left in her as well, a spark I might one day kindle for my own use. Then, when the time is right, I may finally lay bare my thoughts and aspirations of treachery, so we may both revel in our revenge.

But that is a thought for someday. Tonight is for rest. Tonight, as I lay next to my lover and doze to sleep, is for the sweet dreams I've been promised.

Sweet dreams of defeating the tyrant once and for all. Sweet dreams of holding the Ginzuishou to my chest and absorbing it into my body.

Sweet dreams of power, and of payback, for taking away my life.

**FIN**


End file.
